Summary
Overview
Work History
Education
Skills
Accomplishments
Languages
Timeline
Generic

ProbablyPan

Quahog,RI

Summary

Reliable manufacturing and operations professional with 15+ years of experience on high volume packaging lines, forklift operations, and safety-first shop floor procedures. Known for strong work ethic, upbeat team culture, and devilish good looks. Can solve most crises within 22 minutes.

Overview

27
27
years of professional experience

Work History

Deckhand, Seasonal

Sea Breeze Fisheries
01.2003 - 2003
  • Assisted captain with net prep, line handling, and catch sorting; maintained deck safety and cold chain handling.
  • Completed basic preventative maintenance under guidance (hoses, bilge checks, deck washdowns) and remembered which end of the rope to hold.

Shift Lead, Packaging

Pawtucket Patriot Brewery
01.2010 - Current
  • Lead operators on a rotating shift to hit daily case targets with 98%+ first pass quality.
  • Coordinate bottle change formats, complete and test pre flight checks, and document line clearance and sanitation.
  • Train new hires on lockout/tagout , forklift certification, and reduced onboarding time by ~25%, with only ~50% increase in workplace mishaps by employees with less than 6 months of experience.
  • Partner with maintenance to minimize downtime; previous downtime length was worse than the time the team hired Godzilla as our custodial lead (cut to Godzilla walking into an important business meeting with a rather loud vacuum cleaner, subverting expectations that as Godzilla is a large monster, they would normally have destroyed the building)

Guest Segment Contributor, What Really Grinds My Gears

Quahog 5 News
01.2007 - 01.2011
  • Provided brief on air commentary for a recurring segment; practiced concise, audience aware delivery under studio timing.
  • Premise consisted of asking the audience a question in rhetorical fashion concerning what "grinds my gears," followed by a modern social irritant that would then be expounded upon for adroit comedic effect.

Safety & Quality Associate

Happy Go Lucky Toy Factory
01.1999 - 01.2001
  • Performed in process inspections on assembled toys; flagged defects and escalated systemic issues to line supervisor.
  • Helped roll out a simple stop protocol that improved near miss reporting and reduced rework, through the use of the socially accepted "red means stop, green means go" theorem
  • Experience may be less relevant as no one under the age of 45 remembers this original aspect of my character

Education

GED -

Quahog Adult Education Center
Quahog, RI

Skills

  • Versatility in blue-collar and white-collar jobs
  • Launched TV network PTV with a full slate of highly-rated shows
  • Athletic ability: Once signed by the New England Patriots as a running back
  • Public Speaking: Astonishing ability to rally the town of Quahog into doing whatever I might want them to
  • Have been described as a "family guy," less so of an "American dad"
  • Vehicular fluency: can operate a number of vehicles, though they have to have my face on them as the major focus of design
  • Hand-to-hand combat with poultry

Accomplishments

  • Climbed to the top of Mount Everest with shockingly little training
  • Real name was "Justin" for a period of time
  • Founded the nation "Petoria"
  • Had no bones at one point
  • Have won 0 Emmy awards, but those are a load of crap

Languages

English
Professional Working
Sanskrit
Native or Bilingual
Klingon
Full Professional

Timeline

Shift Lead, Packaging

Pawtucket Patriot Brewery
01.2010 - Current

Guest Segment Contributor, What Really Grinds My Gears

Quahog 5 News
01.2007 - 01.2011

Deckhand, Seasonal

Sea Breeze Fisheries
01.2003 - 2003

Safety & Quality Associate

Happy Go Lucky Toy Factory
01.1999 - 01.2001

GED -

Quahog Adult Education Center

Similar Profiles

CREATE PROFILE
ProbablyPan