Summary
Overview
Work History
Education
Skills
References
Websites
Timeline
Generic

RYAN MILLER

Here to be your #1 ambASSador for all things #2
Chicago,IL

Summary

Seize the bidet! Carpe Rectum! I know two things with absolute certainty and bidets are the other one. I'll work harder than a 20 psi bidet in a truck stop Taco Bell. Let's do it Tushy.

Overview

18
18
years of professional experience

Work History

Editorial Writer

Mayonnaise Slacks
Chicago And San Franciso, IL
03.2021 - Current
  • Writer for reallllly wonky pop-culture, politics, stories of the weird, and developer of a Steve Guttenberg/Gutenberg Bible conspiracy theory that I'm equal parts proud and ashamed of.
  • We thought the world needed someone to address the serious shortage of humor/pop-culture social media sites that nobody asked for.
  • Reviewed incoming submissions from freelance writers and provided feedback.
  • Collaborated with editors, photographers, graphic designers, and other professionals on projects.
  • Conducted research and interviews to develop content for articles.
  • Determined story's emphasis, length and format to organize material accordingly.
  • Deep dive into how Wilford Brimley was only 50 years old in Cocoon.

Founder

Bidet-it-Forward
Chicag, IL
06.2014 - Current
  • This is less a company and more of a movement. Spreading the cheek wetting gospel to friends, family, and hundreds of others to buy a bidet and then pay it forward to someone they love. I started Bidet-it-Forward out of pure selfishness so that I could go to any friend's house and not have to worry about dumping like a common animal.
  • Bidet it Forward | Facebook
  • Managed content and advised on bidet installation
  • Evangelized the bidet culture and eased trepidations of new converts
  • Staved off the Great Toilet Paper shortage of 2020.
  • Memes! Puns!

International Student Coordinator

University of Illinois Chicago
Chicago, IL
Current - 09.2016
  • Look..... Bills need paid, kid needs fed, wife needs knockoff Hermes bags, and I need to be insured due to an abundance of clumsiness. This is what I do so I can do things. Related to Marketing? Yeah. I work with thousands of international students that rely on me to be a caring human. I write proposals, social media content, an ungodly amount of emails and everything relies on accuracy and attention to detail. Ever tried selling Chicago as a destination to someone from southern Italy?
  • Provide individualized guidance throughout recruitment cycle, admission/hiring, and compliance with U.S
  • Immigration
  • Focused immigration consultancy on F-1, F-2, B-1, B-2, H-1B, H-4, J-1, J-2 visa types
  • Departmental liaison for Engineering Career Center and UIC Career Services Center facilitating guidance with job placement, adherence to U.S
  • Immigration, provide alumni employment data
  • Provide personalized support and guidance to international students and faculty on enrollment, curriculum, registration, employment, and administrative issues related to their immigration and academic status
  • Work with students, faculty, departments and U.S
  • Governmental officials via email, phone, in-person and remotely via virtual meeting platforms to address challenges, questions, or concerns on U.S
  • Immigration policy
  • Review and analyze submitted documents to ensure accuracy, completeness and adherence to enrollment and Department of Homeland Security regulations.

Coordinator of International Student Recruitment and Partnerships

Northeastern Illinois University
Chicago, IL
01.2011 - 08.2016
  • Including this experience because I had to recruit students from all over the world to come to the 3rd worst university in Chicago and damnit, I thrived at it.
  • Provide individualized guidance throughout recruitment cycle, admission/hiring, and compliance with U.S
  • Immigration
  • Focused immigration consultancy on all visa types
  • Recruitment of international students, faculty, researchers, and scholars for employment and academics and exceeded annual hiring, retention, and enrollment goals
  • Advise international students, faculty and departments on academic and immigration matters related to exchange, study abroad, hiring, maintaining U.S
  • Immigration compliance and on-boarding
  • Liaise with U.S
  • Department of Homeland Security and USCIS.

Director of International Student Services and Recruitment

Tiffin University
Tiffin, OH
09.2005 - 03.2007
  • If you take nothing away from this resume, remember this. I have 1000% certainty that I was the only person in a town of 10,000 people with a bidet. Hoping you want full disclosure and if you're still reading, maybe I have a shot? I survived living in Tiffin, Ohio for 4 years so that has to count for something.
  • Provide individualized guidance throughout recruitment cycle, admission/hiring, and compliance with U.S
  • Immigration
  • Focused immigration consultancy on F-1, F-2, B-1, B-2, H-1B, H-4, O-1, M-1 J-1, J-2 visa types
  • Develop and implement recruiting and advising strategies for students, administrators, faculty and visiting scholars related to their immigration status
  • Lead and promote Study Abroad/Exchange program and initiatives and develop/maintain partnerships with foreign schools
  • Liaise with various on and off campus groups, Department of Homeland Security, businesses, and schools to create and promote internationalization, inclusion, and diversity initiatives.

Head Teacher/Manager - U.S. History/Culture and English

Gwangju L&S High School
Gwangju, South Korea
  • I'm only adding this experience because Korea offered two life changing, defining moments in my life. 1. My first bidet. Love at first spray. 2. Soju.
  • Recruited, evaluated resumes, hired, and trained teachers from global pool of applicants
  • Enhanced student learning by optimizing wide range of educational approaches and innovative classroom activities via primary source materials, argumentative discourse, creative writing, and the study of popular culture
  • Observed and evaluated student’s assessment, performance, behavior, and social development
  • Developed curriculum and evaluated existing course content and lesson plans to facilitate classroom discussion and student-centered learning
  • Communicate with parents and counselors to promote student achievement and growth.

Bartender

So many. So, so many
Bowling Green, Gwangju, Chicago, OH
  • Telling jokes, slinging drinks, dealing with the riff-raff, degenerates, poets, schemers and dreamers.
  • I just spent a few minutes trying to remember the names of all the bars I've tended and people I've met along the way. I could list them but you've got a lot to do.
  • Anyone that has service or bar experience are God's favorite animals.

Education

M.S. Education -

Tiffin University
05.2010

B.S. Education - Integrated Social Studies -

Bowling Green State University
05.2005

Skills

  • Puns Wife hates em, kid thinks I walk on water If you're assking for a puntificator to join you, don't pun-t this opportunity away
  • Jokes Writing, delivering,
  • Writing I love it It's what I love most and I'm looking for a way to do it daily for a company I love It's you Tushy I love you I will make my wife a cuckquean for you Tushy
  • Collaborative Teamwork
  • Audience Engagement
  • Social Media Proficiency
  • Content Creation
  • Story Development
  • Press Release Writing
  • Social Media Engagement
  • Deadline Management
  • Writing and Editing

References

  • Wojciech (Voytek) Wloch, PhD, Senior International Officer and Director of Global Engagement, College of Lake County, wwloch.us@gmail.com
  • Krista Swanagan, Associate Director of Financial Aid, Findlay University, krista.swanagan@findlay.edu
  • Kristi A Krintzline, PhD, Principal Founder – Online Education Solutions, krintzlineka@gmail.com
  • Matt Rogalski, Visiting International Teacher Program Coordinator, Illinois Board of Education, mattrogalski@gmail.com

Timeline

International Student Coordinator

University of Illinois Chicago
Current - 09.2016

Editorial Writer

Mayonnaise Slacks
03.2021 - Current

Founder

Bidet-it-Forward
06.2014 - Current

Coordinator of International Student Recruitment and Partnerships

Northeastern Illinois University
01.2011 - 08.2016

Director of International Student Services and Recruitment

Tiffin University
09.2005 - 03.2007

Head Teacher/Manager - U.S. History/Culture and English

Gwangju L&S High School

Bartender

So many. So, so many

M.S. Education -

Tiffin University

B.S. Education - Integrated Social Studies -

Bowling Green State University

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RYAN MILLERHere to be your #1 ambASSador for all things #2