To quote not one successful resumé in human history, my work experience is no indicator of my career aspirations. However, certain skills I've acquired-along with overexposure to Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas as a stripling-will undoubtedly aid my labor in any sphere. Any aside from a motorcyclist's "Globe of Death," that is. Also, if it helps, I singlehandedly spread the catchphrase "Um... check please!" throughout all of Southern New Hampshire.