Katch On Behalf Of Cuddles
Summary
Super motivated bestie with a PhD in convincing the legendary Mr. Cuddles—proud owner of the best pink nipples in Texas—to fund groundbreaking projects (like my besties next tattoo this Friday the 13th). Expert in charm, persistence, and making questionable ideas seem like brilliant investments.
Skills
- “Honestly, getting the tattoo would make Cuddles 73% happier 20% confident 7% relieved from stress (scientifically unproven but spiritually accurate) Plus, when crochet clients see she literally wears art, they’ll think, ‘Oh yeah… this woman means business’ It’s not just a tattoo — it’s branding With ink”
- Listen… she’s had a rough year medically The universe owes her a little joy And what better therapy is there than fresh ink? Also, let’s be honest — “happy soon-to-be wife, happy life” isn’t just a saying It’s a survival strategy And we cannot break the Friday the 13th tradition We’ve never missed one Never Do we really want 2026 to go down in history as “the year we fumbled the ink streak”? I think not Plus, imagine me coming home with a new tattoo while she’s sitting there untatted That’s not peace That’s chaos That’s you sleeping on the couch We’re not just getting tattoos We’re protecting traditions We’re protecting happiness We’re protecting your future It’s basically a public service at this point