Marshall Perez-Penn

Dynamic and dedicated professional with a strong work ethic and adaptability, eager to contribute to and grow within the public works sector. Demonstrates a quick aptitude for understanding and applying new concepts, particularly in infrastructure maintenance and repair, while possessing foundational knowledge of public works operations. Committed to enhancing community infrastructure and ensuring public safety through reliable, efficient work, with a proven emphasis on teamwork and effective problem-solving. Prepared to leverage valuable experience in a new role that fosters collaboration and innovation.

• In interpersonal communication, some of the most defining moments come when we risk being vulnerable for the sake of honesty and growth. Recently, I experienced this during a heartfelt conversation with a close friend. I had reached a point where our interactions were becoming emotionally draining, and I realized that avoiding the issue would only create more distance between us. This reflection explores that conversation through the lens of self-disclosure, communication climate, and conflict management—three core concepts that helped me understand why the conversation succeeded and what it taught me about maintaining healthy relationships.
• Context and Intent
• Over several months, my friend had been confiding in me about ongoing personal struggles. While I cared deeply about them, I began noticing that our talks had become one-sided, filled with negativity and emotional intensity that left me feeling drained. I found myself dreading our conversations but pretending everything was fine—a clear example of emotional suppression and avoidance.
• Eventually, I realized that I was creating a false sense of harmony by not being honest. My intent for the conversation was to express my feelings openly, establish healthy emotional boundaries, and maintain the friendship in a more balanced way. This required self-disclosure—the process of revealing personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences to another person (Beebe, Beebe, & Ivy, 2020). It was uncomfortable, but I knew it was the only way to move toward a more authentic connection.
• The Conversation and My Communication Choices
• I chose to meet in a quiet café, hoping the neutral environment would set a calm tone. I began by saying:
• “I’ve really valued our friendship and how open we’ve always been, but lately, I’ve been feeling emotionally tired after some of our talks. I think I need to be honest about that.”
• Using “I” statements helped me communicate my feelings without placing blame, a key part of maintaining a supportive communication climate—the emotional tone that defines how safe or defensive people feel in a conversation (Gibb, 1961). I avoided phrasing that could sound accusatory, like “You’re always negative,” and instead focused on my internal experience.
• At first, my friend seemed defensive, replying, “So you’re saying I talk too much?” Rather than reacting, I used active listening to validate their feelings and clarify my intent:
• “I’m not saying that at all. I just think I need to be more aware of my own limits. I care about what you’re going through—I just also need space to recharge.”
• This approach helped reestablish a supportive climate. By remaining calm and genuine, I showed that my goal was understanding, not criticism.
• Conflict Management Approach
• In reflecting on this experience, I recognize that I used a collaborative conflict management style, which seeks a win–win outcome through open dialogue and mutual respect. Instead of avoiding or competing, I tried to frame the issue as something we could solve together. I also engaged in emotional regulation, monitoring my tone and body language so that my message didn’t escalate into unnecessary tension.
• Had I used an avoidant style, I might have continued suppressing my feelings until resentment built up. Conversely, a competitive style—saying something like “You always dump your problems on me”—could have created defensiveness and damaged the relationship. Collaboration allowed both of us to voice our needs and preserve trust.
• Why Self-Disclosure Was Important
• One of the biggest lessons from this experience was realizing that self-disclosure is not just about sharing facts—it’s about being authentic. By revealing my emotional limits, I risked rejection but invited deeper honesty. Self-disclosure can strengthen relationships when done with care and timing, and this conversation showed me how vulnerability can coexist with boundaries.
• Before this, I often equated honesty with potential conflict. Now I see that transparency, when expressed with empathy, actually prevents misunderstanding. It builds relational depth and reduces emotional tension over time.
• Communication Climate and Emotional Safety
• Throughout the conversation, I was aware of how each statement shaped the emotional tone—the communication climate. By maintaining empathy, softening my language, and showing appreciation for our friendship, I helped create a supportive climate that encouraged openness rather than defensiveness.
• Gibb’s (1961) concepts of supportive versus defensive communication perfectly apply here. When my friend initially became defensive, I focused on description instead of evaluation, and problem orientation instead of control. That choice helped shift the interaction from tension to understanding. We ended the conversation feeling more connected than before.
• Outcome and Reflection
• The result was surprisingly positive. My friend thanked me for being honest and admitted they hadn’t realized how much they had been venting. Since then, our communication has become more balanced. We check in with each other, and I feel comfortable saying when I need space or when a topic feels too heavy.
• Looking back, this moment reinforced how interpersonal communication requires continual self-awareness. Every conversation either strengthens or weakens the climate between people. By using self-disclosure, managing conflict collaboratively, and protecting a supportive climate, I learned that honesty can nurture closeness rather than threaten it.
• Conclusion
• This conversation taught me that setting boundaries is not a sign of disconnection—it’s an act of respect for both people involved. Through self-disclosure, I allowed my friend to truly understand how I was feeling. Through conflict management, I avoided escalation and found common ground. And through maintaining a positive communication climate, I created emotional safety for both of us.
• Interpersonal communication is an ongoing process of balance—between honesty and sensitivity, boundaries and empathy. This experience reminded me that effective communication is not about avoiding discomfort but about using it as a pathway toward genuine connection and mutual growth.